Existential Kink: the laziest review
in which i shrug off the burden of concreteness
I’d been meaning to read this book forever, and yet have clearly not been willing to invest in it. naturally, the longer I put it off, the more salient it becomes to the median conversation amongst my milieu. between a rock (my revealed unwillingness to read it) and a hard place (my stated commitment to delegating whatever is non-critical), I acquiesced to reason and decided to try something terrifying and all-too-new to me: relinquishing control.
Every word was written by ChatGPT 4; my only contributions were supervisory, in terms of overall structure, tone/voice suggestions, framing choices, and level of detail. The model was able to adjust in response to my most vague asks and even do things like “calculate the Flesch-Kincaid Readability score for this paragraph 10 times and maximize it, giving me each iterations score and the final text”. It seemed able to reference reader reviews, as well as figure how to adjust tone based on my suggested audience. It made a few editorial mistakes and needed shepherding several times, but overall I'd rate it at the level of a sharp, well-meaning but dense intern. While its perhaps unrealistic to really derive much value from such a summary of a book exploring these topics, I nevertheless profited from this exercise by way of familiarizing myself with its core points; this warrants further exploration of this collaborative AI modality.
"Existential Kink" by Carolyn Elliott is a thought-provoking book that combines elements of psychology, spirituality, and self-help to offer a unique perspective on personal growth. The book invites readers to delve into their unconscious desires and shadow aspects, using a practice called Existential Kink, which incorporates ideas from Jungian psychology, alchemy, and various spiritual traditions. By engaging with our hidden desires and contradictions, Elliott argues that we can transform and integrate these aspects into our conscious lives, fostering self-awareness, personal growth, and holistic self-acceptance. This approach is particularly appealing to those who appreciate the intersection of rationality and spirituality, as it encourages a deep exploration of our inner landscape, while also providing practical tools for navigating the complexities of everyday life.
Here are 6 essential takeaways from "Existential Kink" that can help you tap into hidden desires and enhance personal growth, framed as practical insights and recommendations based on reader feedback:
Unveiling unconscious desires: To delve into your unconscious desires and shadows, start by observing your thoughts, emotions, and patterns in life. Journaling, meditation, and introspection can be helpful tools for uncovering these hidden aspects. Consider seeking professional guidance from a therapist or coach if you find it challenging to explore your unconscious on your own.
Existential Kink practice: To engage in Existential Kink, embrace the idea that uncomfortable situations can be pleasurable on a deeper, unconscious level. This practice involves three main steps: awareness, pleasure, and integration. Begin by identifying a challenging or uncomfortable situation in your life. In the awareness phase, explore any hidden desires or "kinks" contributing to the situation. In the pleasure phase, allow yourself to feel and experience these desires without judgment, recognizing that they may provide a form of pleasure or satisfaction on a subconscious level. Finally, in the integration phase, use your newfound awareness to reconcile these desires with your conscious experience, leading to personal growth and acceptance.
Alchemical transformation: To use Existential Kink as an alchemical tool, view psychological challenges as raw materials for transformation. As you practice Existential Kink, observe how your thoughts, feelings, and actions shift and change. Embrace this process of metamorphosis, acknowledging that it can lead to profound self-awareness and growth.
Real-life applications: To apply Existential Kink to various aspects of your life, consider how the practice can help you navigate challenges and discomfort more effectively. For example, in relationships, use Existential Kink to explore and understand the unconscious desires that might be contributing to conflicts or unmet needs. In your career, identify areas of dissatisfaction and examine the hidden motivations behind them. By incorporating Existential Kink into your daily life, you can develop a deeper understanding of your desires and motivations, leading to better decision-making, improved relationships, and overall increased well-being.
Embracing contradictions: To embrace the contradictions and paradoxes within yourself, cultivate an attitude of curiosity and openness. Recognize that seemingly opposing desires and beliefs can coexist within you and offer unique opportunities for growth. Be willing to explore these contradictions without judgment, allowing yourself to learn from them and develop a more nuanced understanding of your inner landscape.
Holistic self-acceptance: To foster holistic self-acceptance, practice self-compassion and empathy towards every part of yourself, including your shadow aspects. Acknowledge that each facet of your personality serves a purpose and contributes to your overall growth and well-being. By embracing your whole self, you can cultivate a sense of spiritual wholeness and personal fulfillment.
"Existential Kink" has engendered engaging discourses within the spheres of rationality and spirituality, attributable to its innovative perspective on personal growth. The book implores readers to acknowledge and embrace their clandestine desires and contradictions, eliciting an array of commendations and skepticism. Although implementing the Existential Kink methodology consistently may prove arduous, numerous individuals have reported considerable advancements in self-awareness and personal growth.
For more resources, check out Scott Alexander's post Meditation for Materialists for an exciting look at meditation from a rational angle. Also, Venkatesh Rao's Ribbonfarm article The Gervais Principle, or The Office According to The Office digs into social behavior and secret desires. Both posts give valuable insights into the social context and the real-life use of ideas from "Existential Kink."
Additionally, Carolyn Elliott's podcast and online courses offer a deeper look at the book's ideas, helping readers boost their personal growth journey. Right now, she's working on growing her online presence and creating new courses to explore psychology, spirituality, and personal change even more.